Eternal Companion - December 2025
I grew up as a Catholic in St. Louis, Missouri, USA. My parents were from Ireland, a country known for impassioned Catholicism. I was taught by nuns in primary school, and later by a religious order of brothers in an all-boys high school. These brothers were not priests, but they had taken the same vows, and they dedicated their lives to teaching. I will always be grateful for the education they gave me. After high school, I attended a Jesuit university. Even as a part-time graduate student, while working a full-time job, my studies for a Ph.D. in Psychology remained within the Catholic tradition.
However, as I grew older, I began noticing something that didn’t sit right with me. There were many denominations within Christianity, and many of them criticized one another. That confused me. After all, they were all studying the teachings of Jesus Christ. How could they be so divided?
This curiosity led me to explore other spiritual paths. I started meditation, kundalini yoga, and various other spiritual pursuits. Then in 1978, something significant happened. I was attending a seminar on meditation in Jackson, Mississippi, with Dr. Bill Harvey, a psychologist and my mentor. He and I worked together at a drug abuse treatment program. The seminar was led by Mr. Alexander Everett, a British man. He casually mentioned during one of the sessions that he had just returned from India and that the holiest person on the planet lived in South India.
That caught our attention. Dr. Harvey and I looked at each other. No one else in the room seemed to notice, but we made sure to ask him at lunch who this person was. He said, “His name is Sathya Sai Baba.”
When we returned home to St. Louis, Dr. Harvey did some research. He found out more about Sai Baba, and later that year, he visited India and went to Sai Baba’s ashram. When he came back, he brought with him books and profound stories. The first book I read had a teaching from Sai Baba that stood out – the unity of all religions. That struck a chord with me. Having seen so much division within Christianity, this message felt profound and right.
I continued reading about Sai, and over time, I started going to a Sai Center. But the Center experiences then were very different from what they are today. Back then, I didn’t find it very welcoming. The bhajans were all in various Indian languages. There were maybe a dozen people–some of Indian heritage, some Caucasian, some African-American. But there was no study group. They sang devotional songs in a language I didn’t understand, and afterward, people were talking in whispers among themselves. It didn’t remind me of what I had read in the books. I went back a few more times, but eventually thought, “This isn’t for me.”
Looking back, I realize how valuable that experience was. Today, when I visit Sai Centers, I always try to remember what it was like to walk into a Center for the first time, knowing nothing about Indian culture or Sai Baba. That initial discomfort helps me empathize with newcomers.
Several years passed, and I lost contact with Dr. Harvey. Then one day in 1987, he called me. A few days earlier, my best friend had died of cancer. I helped his wife arrange the funeral. Afterward, I was at the family’s home when I checked my answering machine and listened to Dr. Harvey’s message. I called him back and he said, “Jack, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but you once told me: if I ever saw vibhuti forming, day or night, to call you. So, I’m calling.”
He told me that vibhuti was forming in a devotee’s home across the Mississippi River in Illinois. I said I would love to go and see it, and that evening we visited the house. It was a small house, and the scent of jasmine filled the air. There was vibhuti everywhere–forming on pictures of Sai, tables, and other surfaces. Some people had placed their own Sai Baba pictures on the table, and vibhuti had formed on them as well! Dr. Harvey handed me a small picture of Sai Baba and said, “Here, take this. Place it on a table. Maybe He’ll bless it.” I placed it next to some others and checked it repeatedly. But nothing formed.
About six days later, Dr. Harvey said, “I think the vibhuti blast is over now. There has been no new vibhuti formation in the past two days.” I said, “Let’s go back.” When we got there, I saw that more vibhuti had formed on additional photos. Amritha, sacred nectar, had dripped on some pictures. Red Kumkum appeared on some photos. I immediately went to check the little picture I had placed on a table the week before. My picture of Sai was the only one that had no vibhuti on it. It was completely clear. Much later, I learned to be grateful that vibhuti did not appear on my picture because I realized Sai went out of His way not to materialize on it. He was giving me a special message. In fact, if it had appeared, I might have been skeptical of the whole thing!
Indeed, the Lotus Feet
In 1990, I made my first trip to see Sai at Prasanthi Nilayam, the primary ashram. Dr. Harvey and a few others were part of a group. He and another woman in our group had been there before; the rest of us were newcomers. On my first day at Prasanthi Nilayam, being my first trip to India, I walked all around the ashram and outside, taking in all the scenes, sounds, and fragrances. Back at the ashram, Dr. Harvey saw me and encouraged me to stay within the ashram premises, warning me that I was not used to the hot sun. But I did not heed his advice and told him that I felt like I was experiencing a ‘walking meditation’.
At our first darshan, we were blessed to be called for an interview. During the interview, I noticed a woman touching Sai’s foot. I instinctively touched His other foot, having learned that touching the foot of a holy person is a privilege and blessing. I was stunned: here was a man in His 60s, having walked through the sand and dust, and yet His feet were completely clean. When I felt the bottom of His foot, I was amazed that the sole was as soft as a baby’s skin. I was in awe. During that interview, Sai looked at me and asked, “How was your walk?” Later, I asked Dr. Harvey if he had told Sai about my walk. He just laughed. Obviously, he hadn’t, and Sai was giving me a glimpse of His omniscience.
Sai Decides the Timing
After the interview, we left, and I walked across the sand and sat on a low wall around the darshan venue with another man from our group. After a while, he said he needed to walk around and process what had happened. I stayed, trying to absorb my own experiences.
Then something strange took place. After sitting there for quite some time, thinking about what had just happened, I thought I would get up and walk. I tried to get up but couldn’t. There was no pain, no fear–just a strange stillness and immobility. I thought it was odd, but I stopped trying to stand up and just settled back on the low wall.
The courtyard was mostly empty except for a few sevadal (volunteers), and some elderly men in wheelchairs in front to my left. When I relaxed back on the wall and looked toward the front, I saw the door of the interview room slowly open. Sai Baba emerged and began walking calmly toward me. He looked at me as He walked, and I looked at Him. Our eyes locked. When He was about 25 feet away, He stopped, smiled, then slowly turned and walked toward the men in the wheelchairs. He blessed them and then went back inside the interview room. The moment the door closed, I instantly jumped up, almost with a jolt!
It took me a while, but I finally understood the lesson: God decides the timing. Not us. That lesson has stayed with me forever.
The following week, Sai travelled to Brindavan, the ashram near Bengaluru, and we packed up quickly and followed Him. Again, we were fortunate to get interviews with Swami. It was in one of the interviews that Sai materialized a lingam for one of the doctors in our group. He told her to place the lingam in water and give the water to her sickest patients. Later, when I saw her, I asked about the lingam. She had it with her and handed it to me. I told her it looked larger when I saw Sai materialize it. She said, “It was bigger; it has gotten smaller.” That was yet another miracle.
Sai Knows Our Innermost Thoughts
On my second trip to India three years later, I realized that, coincidentally, Dr. Harvey was also in Prasanthi Nilayam at that time! I joined the small group that he was part of. I had been fortunate the first time to get two interviews, so part of me hoped it might happen again. Every day, I’d tell the group, “Today’s the day.” But the days passed, and we weren’t called.
I was then in my 40s and was still unmarried. I constantly thought about it and believed that it was not in my fate to ever get married, despite my attempts at different relationships. Finally, it was our last darshan. In a few hours, we were to leave for the airport. I sat there, accepting the fact that we would not get another interview. I was reflecting on how I felt. I asked myself, “Am I glad I came?” The answer was yes. I asked myself if I would ever return to Prasanthi. And I could not answer that.
That day, I got a good number pick in the queue lines and sat up front. Swami came across from the ladies’ side. As He walked toward the gents’ side, He looked at me and I looked at Him. Our eyes locked. He walked directly toward me. With folded hands, I said, “Swami, interview please.”
He asked, “How many?”
I replied, “Eight.”
He said, “Go.”
In that interview, He looked at me and asked, “Where’s your wife?”
I said, “Swami, I’m not married.”
He said, “I know. But now you want a wife.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. Then He said, “Spell wife.”
I was confused. He said again, “Spell wife.” Someone in the room said, “Jack, He means the word.” I said, “W-I-F-E.”
He smiled and said, “Yes. Worries invited For Ever.” I did not understand back then. Later, I came to know that Sai has another expansion of the acronym WIFE. When both husband and wife pursue God or the ultimate goal of life together, WIFE becomes ‘Wisdom Invited For Ever!’
Then He told me, “Come next time. Bring wife.”
Wisdom Invited For Ever
I kept that to myself, but later, a Nepali couple from our group, who had visited Nepal after leaving the ashram, returned to St Louis and came to the Center meeting. They shared their experiences from Prasanthi Nilayam, and when they saw me, they announced, “Oh yes, Swami told Jack to come back with a wife.” That sparked the interest of many devotees. Some months later, at the annual Mid-Central Regional retreat of the SSSIO-USA Sai, I met Ms. Kathy Schaefer. She was a primary school teacher in Milwaukee and the Regional Vice President of the North-Central Region.
Sometime after the retreat, someone in my Center asked me to call Kathy because she had created a Center Manual which would be good for our Center. When I called her, she was happy to mail it to me. We spent time talking about Sai and His teachings. It was a Satsang and study group of two. Later in the summer, I attended the North Central Regional Retreat and met many devotees, including some from Kathy’s family. Afterward, we kept talking on the phone, and I shared what Sai said to me about coming back with a wife. She shared that during her first trip to Prasanthi Nilayam in 1989, she had an interview where Sai told her many things, including, “I will send you a good husband.”
It seemed to us that Sai had something in mind for the two of us. We eventually wrote a letter to Sai asking for His blessing and whether He wanted us to get married. If He said no, we were ready to walk away. We decided to go and see Him during Kathy’s Christmas break from school. Her mother, who was a devotee, wrote a letter to Sai asking for blessings for our marriage. We put our letter, her mother’s letter, and a photo of Kathy and a separate photo of me in an envelope, which we would offer to Sai at darshan. We made several copies of the packet in case we would not get close enough to give it to Him. The idea was that perhaps a devotee we knew might get close enough to give it to Him.
Then we tried to book our flights with specific departure and return dates because Kathy had a short Christmas break from school. But the travel agent she knew told her there were no flights available for those dates. One evening, Kathy’s friend, a devotee living in Casa Blanca, called her. After hearing our dilemma, she asked Kathy to send a copy of our packet to her because she and her husband were planning to go to Prasanthi Nilayam, and they could try to offer it to Sai. Kathy sent it to her, and they left.
We still didn’t have reservations and accepted that we might not be able to go. Then our friend called from Prasanthi Nilayam and told Kathy that Sai took our letters during darshan! When they finished the phone call, the travel agent immediately called Kathy and said, “You won’t believe this, but a couple just cancelled their flights to the same destination on the same dates you want. Do you want the reservations?” Kathy said, “Yes.”
Our trip was very spiritual and dharmic. At the ashram, she shared a room with ladies, and I stayed with some men devotees. At our first darshan, we both took a packet with our letters and photos. Sai took both the packets from us. We then knew He approved of this step. I told Kathy we have some extra packets, so I will bring another one to darshan. She said she was satisfied, but I could certainly give another one to Sai. At the next darshan, Sai took my letters. And at the third darshan, He took another packet. It almost became a game. I went to the village, found a copy store, and made additional copies of the letters and photos. In those few days, Sai took 10 copies of the packet! At one darshan, I was in the last line, in the back, behind the crowd. As Sai walked in, I began to walk toward the front. Strangely, the crowd seemed to part open as I walked further. As I reached the front, with the seated men clearing out of my way, Sai was watching me and held out His hand. I handed Him my last packet!
He had said yes–ten times! He took ten copies of the same letters from us on different days. Even fellow devotees commented, “He’s taking your letter every day!” I didn’t tell them they were copies of the same letters. We had a wedding ceremony at the Jesus statue in the ‘Sarva-dharma’ garden at the ashram. We found a minister from Canada. She said she was unable to officiate a marriage, but she would perform a marriage blessing. With a few friends, we had a ceremony at the garden and another ceremony at the Ganesh temple near the ashram’s front gate.
We left Prasanthi Nilayam very happy and had an interesting moment at the airport. The airline representative at the counter told us they did not have our names on the passenger list. We asked to speak to the manager. Fortunately, I had arranged to have printed copies of our flight confirmation. The manager apologized and said the flight was full, and the only seats available were First Class. So, he gave us those seats. We were elated and understood that it was Sai’s blessing and a wedding gift to us.
Everything in Life is His Gift
When we returned home, we arranged to have a wedding in Milwaukee with family and friends. Kathy moved to St. Louis and found a teaching job at a school. In time, she was asked to become the Regional President of the Mid-Central Region of SSSIO-USA, and she also served as the Central Council Secretary, the only time that position existed. Together, we gratefully dedicated our marriage to Sai’s work.
Seven years later, Kathy was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. I was in deep grief. A few weeks later, I was asked to take over Kathy’s position as Regional President. I declined. A couple of weeks later, I was asked to take that position again. I explained that I was mourning the loss of my wife and could not even consider it. A couple of weeks later, I was asked again, and for some reason I cannot explain, I accepted it. In time, I realized it was good for me. It wasn’t just about being busy. It was about being immersed in Sai’s work, which gave meaning to my life.
After finishing Kathy’s term, I started another 4-year term as Regional President, and then all officers were asked to serve an additional term. After that, I served as National Service Coordinator, then National Vice President, and Co-Chair of the International Disaster Relief Committee. During the 2013 typhoon in the Philippines, I was part of a 20-member team that served in a medical camp for two weeks. The people we served–especially the children–were full of joy and gratitude, even amid tragedy. It was deeply humbling. Then I was asked to serve as National Council President. Currently, I serve as Central Coordinator, SSSIO-USA.
From Catholic roots to Sai devotion, from loss to leadership, every step of my journey has carried one resounding truth:
Not even a blade of grass moves without Sai’s will.
Jack Feely, Ph.D.
Central Coordinator, SSSIO USA
Dr. Jack Feely is a psychologist and organizational/management consultant. He received his doctorate from St. Louis University in 1978 and had a clinical practice for 45 years. During this time, he also owned and operated a management and organization consulting firm for 25 years.
Dr. Feely began reading about Sri Sathya Sai Baba in 1978 and attending Sai center meetings. After his first trip to Prasanthi Nilayam in 1990, he became actively involved in the Sai Organization. He has held several positions in the SSSIO, including Center President, Regional President, National Service Coordinator, Vice President, and National President of the SSSIO USA. He also served as the Co-Chair of the SSSIO Humanitarian Relief Committee. Dr. Jack Feely is presently the Central Coordinator of the SSSIO USA.