A Journey of Faith, Healing, and Surrender at the Feet of Sai
Eternal Companion - October 2025
The First Whisper of Grace
The first time I heard of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, I was at home during my summer vacation after finishing 8th grade at Ramakrishna Vivekananda Vidyamandir in Jasidih, Deoghar, in Jharkhand, India. A Bengali friend of my father visited us and shared a story that sounded utterly unbelievable to me–Swami had reportedly performed heart surgery using a flower twig. My rational, adolescent mind dismissed it as a myth. In fact, I mentally mocked it as a fairytale because I felt I had never seen such irrationality. But little did I know that this “myth” was about to become my Master.
Encouraged by the same family friend, my father applied for my admission to Sri Sathya Sai Vidyapeeth in Srisailam in Kerala, which was established by Baba in 1976. I was admitted into Class 10 in 1997. The school in Quilandy near Calicut in Kerala, with the Arabian Sea on three sides, was a sacred place. The spiritual discipline, the vibrations of the morning and evening prayers, the bhajans–started transforming me. It was here that I heard more stories and experiences with Swami from my friends and hostel mates. I also read many books about Swami and felt my heart warm up to this beautiful being.
That same year, I had my first darshan of Swami. It felt like a gentle awakening; subtle, yet life-changing.
Diagnosis and Disappointment
After my Class 10 board exams, I appeared for admission at Swami’s Higher Secondary School in Puttaparthi. I passed the test and interview, but during the medical examination, a doctor from Australia, who was also a devotee of Baba, detected a problem–malfunctioning of my aortic valve, likely due to my history of rheumatic fever. His diagnosis was confirmed at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences (SSSIHMS), a super-specialty hospital in Puttaparthi.
I was shocked. I had never suspected anything. I had always been active in sports and never experienced any symptoms. But now I was being told that I might not be admitted to the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School because of a heart condition! Worse still, I was placed on a waiting list for aortic valve replacement surgery.
I was deeply disappointed–not about the illness, but because I couldn’t continue my studies and spiritual journey at Puttaparthi. I returned to Srisailam in Kerala to continue my studies.
The Pain and the Pull to Parthi
I eventually joined NIT Silchar to pursue my degree in Electrical Engineering (2001–2005). But after my first year, during my vacation in 2002, I began experiencing excruciating chest pain. It was unbearable, and it kept coming in waves, once or twice a day.
I knew I had to go to Puttaparthi. I was still on the waiting list at the Super Specialty Hospital to undergo the procedure. I arrived in Puttaparthi filled with hope and faith. The doctors examined me but didn’t feel surgery was urgently needed. Despite the pain, I found myself blessed to attend both morning and evening darshans of Bhagawan every day.
I spent my days immersed in the divine rhythm of the ashram, including nagarsankirtan, bhajans, reading Swami’s teachings, and of course, waiting for a glance, a smile, a sign from the Lord. I stayed there for nearly a month.
The Divine Touch
One day, my classmate Sanil Sreekumar, who had enrolled as a student at Swami’s college at Puttaparthi, recommended my case to Mr. Rajesh Desai, senior engineer at Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences (SSSIHMS), whom he knew well. His sister, Dr. Neelam Desai, was a senior cardiac surgeon at the SSSIHMS, and Sri Desai referred my case to her. She examined me and recommended immediate surgery due to the worsening of my heart’s LVEF (Left Ventricular Ejection Fraction). She told me to get admitted for surgery within the next three days.
But Swami had other plans.
Students from my former school in Kerala had come to Puttaparthi for darshan. With the necessary approvals, I was allowed to sit with them in Sai Kulwant Hall. Swami came straight to us and promised that He would bless us all. We were then made to sit in rows facing each other, and Swami would walk through each row. As He passed by me, I rose on my knees and whispered, “Swami… heart problem…”
He said something softly in Telugu, which none of us understood, but I sensed it was “past karma.”
A few minutes later, Swami came back and asked in Hindi, “Doctor ko nahi dikhaya?” (Didn’t you show it to a doctor?)
I replied, “Swami, doctor ko dikhaya, parantu thik nahi hua.” (Yes, Swami. I did, but it didn’t help.)
Then came the moment that changed everything. Swami leaned forward slightly and touched my chest with His index finger, and instantly I felt a surge of divine energy flow through me. My frantic, pounding heart quieted down like a storm tamed by its Master. Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew that I had been touched by Sakshat Parabrahman (Supreme Divinity). The immediate thought in my heart was, “Wow! Everything in the universe obeys His command instantly!”
Swami materialized vibhuti with a circular motion of His hand and poured it into my palm. He then took a piece of paper, transferred the vibhuti onto it, packed it, and, putting it in my pocket, instructed me to take it with water for three days. As He began to walk away, I asked the one lingering question–“Swami, is surgery needed?”
His clear answer: “Not now!”
Temporary Reprieve, Permanent Blessing
The pain I had felt totally subsided. Back at the hospital, I informed the doctors of Swami’s advice. Since they were all devotees, they were very eager to repeat my tests and see the results. The LVEF had improved significantly. The doctors were thrilled at this divine intervention and concluded that the surgery was not necessary and could be deferred.
I returned to college a month late, but still easily passed my third semester exams. What medical science called an emergency, Swami’s grace had transformed into normalcy!
Seven Years Later – The Final Step
In 2009, seven years after the divine miracle touch, I quit my job at Wipro (a large Indian company) because I was seriously preparing for the Indian Administrative Services Examinations. That was when the pain returned–sharp, frequent, and familiar.
We rushed to Puttaparthi again. The doctors now insisted on immediate surgery. But I knew what I had to do first–get Swami’s permission.
By His grace, I got a second-row seat during the morning darshan. As Swami passed by, collecting letters from the devotees, I managed to say, “Swami, the doctor has asked me to undergo surgery.” Swami didn’t stop, nor look at me. But He simply responded, “Achha” (Good).
That was all I needed, approval from the Lord, resident of my heart!
The surgery went well. I recovered. I missed the main exam that year, but cleared all three stages the next year and joined the Indian Railway Traffic Service. The following year, I appeared again and secured a better rank, joining the coveted Indian Administrative Service (IAS).
Why the Delay? Why the Pain?
Some may ask, “Why did Swami, the Parabrahman who is omnipotent, not cure me? He, who could, with just a deft touch of His index finger, calm a dysfunctional, unruly pumping heart and defer a surgery for seven years, why did he not heal the heart completely and avert the surgery?”
I believe I now understand. Swami could have healed me permanently, but He chose not to do this because the suffering was intended for my spiritual growth. The pain shattered my attachment to the body and guided me inward. His touch was not a shortcut to escape suffering; it was the strength to endure it and grow beyond suffering itself!
When the guru is God Himself, He knows precisely when to act and when to withhold. His delays are never denials; they are preparations.
Healed, Guided, Transformed
Even today, just recalling and reflecting on these moments brings tears to my eyes. The memory of kneeling before Him, His touch, His vibhuti, and His words–live in my heart forever.
Let my life be shaped by His will.
Let me be worthy of surrender.
Let my heart always beat for Him.
Jai Sai Ram.
Mr. Sanjeev Kumar, IAS
India
Mr. Sanjeev Kumar hails from Bihar, India. He is devoted to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, having come to him at a young age. He completed his schooling at the Sathya Sai Vidyapeeth in Kerala and obtained a B. Tech in Electrical Engineering from N.I.T. Silchar. He worked at Wipro Technology and then joined the government service in India as an Indian Administrative Service (IAS) officer.
He has served in various positions as an IAS officer, including district magistrate in Bhojpur district, director, science & technology department, joint secretary in health department, additional secretary in planning department, director, technical industry department, and managing director in infrastructure development authority. He serves now as a special secretary in the public health & engineering department in Jharkhand, India.