My journey with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba did not start with a profound realization. It took root quietly, organically, in everyday life, and evolved through subtle experiences that gradually reshaped my understanding of life and the divine. The moment that transformed me the most was Swami’s Mahasamadhi on April 24, 2011, the end of His earthly sojourn.
I first came to know of Swami during my early years as a student at the Sathya Sai School in Visakhapatnam, where I studied from kindergarten through 10th grade. Interestingly, my parents were not Sai devotees, and at home, Swami was not discussed in a spiritual or devotional context. The decision to enroll me in the school was mainly influenced by its reputation for discipline and values-based education. As a result, while I was immersed in an environment of bhajans, moral instructions, and spiritual ideals every day, my engagement with them remained largely external. I participated, observed, and absorbed, but I did not internalize the lessons.
There were moments during those years that, in hindsight, seem significant. On one occasion, as part of our school group, we had prepared for presenting Shiva Tandavam (cosmic dance of Lord Shiva as Nataraja) in Prasanthi Nilayam. We rehearsed diligently and looked forward to the opportunity to perform in front of Swami. However, that opportunity never materialized. Other groups returned with stories to share, but we did not. I remember feeling quietly disappointed–not devastated but puzzled. My teachers kept assuring us, “Keep praying, your turn will come.” But I could not understand. We had come all the way. Why not just let us perform? I did not have an answer then, and in some ways, I still do not. But years later, I found myself back in Prasanthi Nilayam, on the same stage, in a way I could never have imagined.
Sai Centers are Centers of Love
A more conscious and aware phase of my journey started years later, in 2008, in the United States, after relocating to the San Francisco Bay Area. I did not even know that a Sathya Sai organization existed outside India. A cousin who knew about my school days took me to a local Sai center, and that changed everything. What began as a casual visit gradually evolved into something meaningful, but not because of any spiritual awakening on my part. It stemmed from a sense of familiarity and curiosity. The very first bhajans I heard at the center carried melodies I recognized from my school days, which was comforting. What I encountered was not a system of beliefs to be accepted, but a community that expressed warmth, inclusiveness, and genuine care.
My involvement deepened through the people around me. A fellow Young Adult took it upon himself to bring me to every event. At bhajans, someone would sit beside me and help me sing. I had never sung before. At study circles, concepts like the Atma and divine love were discussed–ideas that felt completely foreign. I did not enjoy those discussions, and I did not fully understand them. But I kept going, because these people genuinely cared for me. My continued presence was less a reflection of understanding the program and more a response to the sincerity and kindness of those around me. In hindsight, I recognize that this was an early lesson: spiritual connection is often nurtured through love long before it is understood intellectually.
Even so, a sense of hesitation persisted. I remember being asked to help lead an activity during a retreat. Overcome by apprehension, I simply did not show up, without telling anyone. I can now look back and realize that it was a reluctance on my part to step forward, even when the door was wide open. Yet, my journey did not stall. Not because I believed in myself, but because others believed in me more than I believed in myself.
Mahasamadhi–The Equalizer
A pivotal moment occurred in 2011, during Swami’s Mahasamadhi. For many devotees, this period was marked by profound grief at the loss of His physical presence. For me, the experience was different, and I must be honest about the reason for it.
Until then, my understanding of Swami was mainly based on His physical presence and the experiences of those who had been in His direct presence–blessed with darshan, interviews, and moments of personal connection. I had none of that. I came to the Sai Organization late and struggled to connect with experiences that seemed to be personal to others but felt distant to me. There was always a gap I could not bridge. With the Mahasamadhi, that gap dissolved. Once Swami was no longer confined to the physical form, the distinction between those who had experienced proximity and those who had not seemed to disappear. All our journeys going forward would converge. Rather than a sense of loss, I felt something closer to relief and a new clarity. It marked the beginning of a more personal, inward journey, one that was no longer dependent on external, physical proximity to Swami.
When I Experienced Swami Firsthand
In fact, the seeds of this new chapter had been planted even before Mahasamadhi. In December 2010, as part of the Sai Young Adults group in the Bay Area, we had decided to serve the needy beyond just providing food and clothing. We wrote a letter to Swami expressing this intention. Swami accepted it and blessed it. In April 2011, the project started. The sequence of events remains very special to me–we sought His blessings, He gave them, and then the journey unfolded right as He transitioned to the infinite and the formless.
We partnered with the Emergency Housing Consortium (EHC), a homeless shelter in San Jose, to help individuals who had been incarcerated for over 15 years successfully reintegrate into society. Many of them did not know computers existed, nor could they operate a mouse; yet a simple job application for any position required an online submission. We were engineers, lawyers, and teachers. So we did not fully know what we were doing, as these people were applying for jobs in warehouses and kitchens, a world unfamiliar to us. But we just started. Every Wednesday evening, a few of us would go to the shelter and sit down with each participant on a one-on-one basis to teach computer skills and job-readiness. We set a very specific goal: by November 23rd, Swami’s Birthday, at least one person in the cohort should secure employment.
And then something remarkable happened. An 86-year-old gentleman who had spent decades working with previously incarcerated individuals offered to help with his resources, guiding us on how to approach employers about hiring people with felony records–something none of us knew how to navigate. To me, he was proof of Swami’s omnipresence, jumping in to help us precisely when we needed it. In October 2011, weeks before Swami’s Birthday, the first person in the group secured a job. The momentum continued, the program ran for two more years, and we went on to serve at a women’s shelter and other locations in the years that followed.
This experience provided a profound and deep insight. The effort we made, though sincere, was limited in scope. Yet the results were far greater than what we could have achieved on our own. It reinforced a principle often emphasized by Swami: when one takes a sincere step forward in serving others, the divine amplifies the effort in ways beyond our understanding. That was the first foundation of Self-confidence.
The joy I found in this service was unlike anything else. The more I invested in the program and the organization, the more I gained from it. This may appear to be selfish, but that is honestly what happened. It transformed my understanding of service from being an obligation, or activity, to a source of inner satisfaction, inspiration, and purpose.
Do Sai’s Work, and Sai Will Do Your Work
As my responsibilities increased, I gradually moved into leadership roles at both regional and national levels of the organization. These roles presented new challenges, especially in balancing professional duties, family life, and commitments. At the regional level, most meetings took place during family time, and I struggled to participate in them. I genuinely wanted to continue serving, and I prayed for the opportunity, but I could not find a way to balance everything. Just as I was contemplating stepping down, I was offered a national role. Henceforth, the meetings ended early enough so that I had my evenings back–my prayer was answered by Swami most unexpectedly. Swami is Kalateeta, beyond time, and He literally rearranged life events to create time for me. But it went further than that. The work itself helped me prioritize and manage time more effectively. When Swami says, “You do My work, and I will do your work,” perhaps this is what He means–not that life becomes easier, but that serving Him builds capacities we never had before.
One of those gifts was developing my ‘listening ability.’ During periods of organizational change, many Young Adults had questions and concerns. It was during one such time that I had my first dream of Swami, where I was pushing His chair through three bumpy doorways into a building. To me, these bumps reflected the major organizational shifts I would witness as a leader, but the message was clear: keep moving forward. I learned that effective leadership is not about providing immediate answers. It is about creating space for dialogue and understanding. This skill became very useful when I was promoted to a management position at work, leading a cross-geography team. It helped me greatly, especially during the COVID pandemic, when listening across a screen was all we had.
SSSIO is a Development Laboratory
For me, the SSSIO, especially the Sai Young Adults program, is like a laboratory. One ‘Yes’ leads to the next opportunity, such as video editing, graphic design, playing tabla, public speaking, IT, bhajan singing, understanding study circles, and working with SSE children. What began with one step into service expanded into all three wings of the Sai Organization. These experiences had a broader impact on my personal and professional life. The skills developed along the way translated seamlessly into every other area. Later, when I pursued an MBA at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, I found that many of the competencies emphasized there had already been developed through years of involvement in the SSSIO.
Reflecting on my journey, the moments of ‘full-circle’ stand out the most. For example, the dance I never got to perform as a disappointed schoolboy came full circle years later. At the 2016 World Youth Festival, I found myself on a stage in Prasanthi Nilayam, hosting a game show on Swami’s life. What had seemed like a missed opportunity was simply part of a larger, unseen design orchestrated by the divine.
Ultimately, what Swami’s Mahasamadhi gave me was not just a shift in understanding. It was the beginning of a journey of faith and courage.
One Step at a Time
The EHC project was my first step into the unknown–an immigrant who could barely navigate local small talk, sitting across from someone who had spent 20 years in prison, trying to teach him how to use a computer. I had no idea what I was doing. But I took the first step, and the results followed. Those results gave me the confidence to take the next step, and the next.
That is how it has worked for me. Each act of courage builds on the previous one: serving in the YA national team when I had not grown up here or fully understood the local context; at Wharton, having the courage to be fully present in social settings and the courage to say no despite the fear of missing out; quitting a comfortable, high-paying job and a career of 18 years to start my own venture because growth sometimes involves leaving what is familiar to embrace what is possible; going to a Marine Corps leadership intensive training at Quantico as one of the oldest trainees among 80 people, crawling through mud, getting yelled at–because a leader must be a good follower first, and Swami taught me that long before any drill sergeant did.
None of these steps would have happened without the first one.
What I once thought I lacked in closeness, I found through love–not by reaching out to something external, but by recognizing something within. That recognition did not come through thinking. It came through doing. I took the first step. Then the next. The confidence that comes from action is not ordinary. It is the slow realization that I am capable of far more than I believed. And that, I believe, is the beginning of recognizing the divine within.
Mr. Lakshman Mantha
USA
Mr. Lakshman Mantha attended the Sri Sathya Sai Vidya Vihar School in Visakhapatnam, India. After moving to the USA, he served the SSSIO from 2008, and credits Swami and the Young Adults program for his transformational journey. A 2016 graduate of the Sathya Sai International Youth Leadership Programme, he served as the Young Adult (YA) Coordinator for Region 7, and later as the national YA Coordinator for the SSSIO USA. He has led many innovative programs and initiatives in SSSIO.
Professionally, Lakshman holds an MBA from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and an MS in Computer Science. He is the founder of an AI-native startup initiative, serving the nonprofit sector. An avid runner, he has completed the San Francisco Marathon for 18 consecutive years and mentored over 100 first-time runners. He serves as president of the Sri Sathya Sai Center of Tri-Valley in Northern California.